If I asked you what do you dislike about yourself, what would you say? What if I asked you to tell me all of the things that you LOVE about yourself? How many things would you list for each? Which list is longer? Which one do you find easier to list?
Often, we find it easier to list the things that we dislike about ourselves. We can go on and on and the answers come easy. Yet, it’s more challenging to state what we loves about ourselves. There may be noticeably less things on the LOVE list.
It’s so easy to focus on the things that we dislike about ourselves. Things that we wish were different. So often we question ourselves. We wonder why we are a particular way. Why we have certain personality traits and characteristics. We even try to change and conform to other people’s idea of how we should be.
I’m an introvert. My general nature is quiet and reserved. I’ve been this way since I can remember. I’m also a homebody and I prefer to be alone.
For many years, I disliked these parts of myself. I questioned why I wasn’t the loudest one or the center or attention. I questioned why I wasn’t the popular, social butterfly type. I questioned what was wrong with me since I wasn’t any of those things.
A lot of this questioning was influenced by others. As a teen, my mom thought something was wrong with me because all I wanted to do was stay in my room and read books all day. I didn’t want to play with my siblings. I didn’t want to watch TV. I didn’t want to go outside. All I wanted to do was read, write, draw and sleep.
Some of the questioning came from comparing myself to others and wanting to be like another person. Also wanting to fit in and be liked. Wanting to feel accepted and consequently validated by others.
Then there were social gatherings where I would get questioned relentlessly. Why are you so quiet? Why aren’t you talking? What’s wrong with you? There’s nothing that annoys a quiet person more than being asked why we are so quiet. Like I just am, the end! I later recalled that it was always the loud and outspoken folks that had a problem with quiet people.
The thing that people don’t realize is that quiet doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t have anything to say. We choose when and what we say carefully. We’re also very discerning and selective about who we talk to. We see and hear everything. So we’re usually the one’s that can tell you everything that happened from start to finish in great detail. We’re also the one’s that people feel compelled to tell all of their secrets.
It took a long time for me to learn to love and accept what is simply put…just me. I had to learn to embrace all of my personality traits and characteristics. Everything that makes me…me.
I had to stop questioning and believing that I was lacking in some way because of what I wasn’t. I had to resolve that I was created this way for a specific reason and a purpose. I was never regular. I was never like everyone else. I was never just average. Everything about me is uniquely me.
It’s a daily practice and a continuous process as I’m always working to be my best self. The more I embrace who I am, the more I’m able to reject what I am not. Then, I am able to show up as authentically me.
What things do you question and doubt about yourself? Where does the questioning and doubt stem from? What things should you reject about yourself? What things should you embrace as just YOU; who you are?
It’s time to EMBRACE who you are and reject what you are not.